FEAR

February 5, 2016

Man, I hate FEAR.  I don’t hate much, but boy do I hate FEAR. I hate how it keeps me up at night. I hate the surging through my veins that I feel when the FEAR hits and won’t stop. The pounding of my Heart. That helpless feeling I get when I think there is no way the stressful situation can be remedied. I can’t find a way to “fix” the situation. I can’t stand that feeling. That helpless feeling. I used to go through FEAR a LOT. Stewing in the FEAR, unable to sleep, unable to Let it Go, unable to move on, unable to think of anything else…

I KNOW it is not real, I KNOW it is not True. Why do I fall into this trap.  I know better now.  I KNOW.  Tonight, I fell again, maybe one last time.  One last learning about FEAR. And maybe now I will be able to LET IT GO for good. Just as I am LETTING GO of SO many things. Everything…

A couple times this week FEAR has hit and it hit HARD. About, you guessed it, MONEY. Thoughts of How am I going to survive traveling about with no income to speak of.

And tonight:

1) I could not find an important document I needed, REALLY needed.

2) Money (always Money) a REVERSAL they call it was taken out of my account.  A very substantial amount, just gone.

3) FEAR of being ALONE. Weird, I am usually fine alone.

The FEAR lasted a couple hours(it used to last days or weeks) and now I am writing while the feeling is fresh. The FEAR is fresh in me.  GONE, still strongly felt…

1) So, the document I needed.  Emailed to me a few minutes ago.  CHECK

2) Money – Inconsequential. God has told me SO MANY times he will take care of me and my kids.  I BELIEVE it. I have already seen it and will continue to SEE it.  CHECK

3) Being ALONE? DEEP Breath. I am NEVER alone in TRUTH. I am surrounded by My Angels and Guides. All I need do is ASK for help and DONE.  CHECK

FEAR – I LET YOU GO.  Fear is part of my PAST, not my present or FUTURE. One last remnant. One last parting gift to me.  I leave Fear in my PAST. I Always have EVERYTHING I need. I am Financially free. I and my kids are ALWAYS taken care of at all times. I am Healthy, Whole and Complete. God has promised an ABUNDANT life. This I BELIEVE with ALL my BEING.

 

GOODBYE fear and good riddens. I will not miss you.

I Thank you for the Lessons.

I Bless you with Love and release you from my Life once and for all.

 

Tammy Joyful

Weightloss and Loving Myself

January 28, 2016

A couple of people recently have asked me how I lost the weight.  I was almost 200 lbs. in 2011.  Now I am 144.4.  I have lost 55 lbs., well, more like 70+ since I gained some back and lost it again.  lol

When they asked, I immediately went to the step by step process of how I did it.  I started by going to the Metabolic Research Center and lost 41 lbs. in 6 months.  I drank protein drinks, ate the correct foods together to shed the pounds.  I went to a counselor at the center and changed my attitude toward food.  I made my meal and ate before I made the family meal so I was not hungry when I made their meal.  I had desire, dedication and determination.  Brian helped me by telling me chips and goodies and things I thought I wanted tasted like Kettle corn.  That sent the taste of Kettle corn taste into my mouth and I instantly did not want it as I do not like Kettle corn. I can’t think of others right now.  I know there were more… Mind games. They worked for me.  Along the way I read the book Eat Right for your Blood type.  And so many other books like: The Paleo diet, The JJ Virgin diet, Al Roker: Never Goin’ Back…   I read the books, pick out what worked for me and discarded the rest.

All these books and things helped me loose the weight.  Unfortunately, I gained 15 lbs back fairly quickly.  I lost 35 lbs. after starting at T. Rowe Price January 2015.  They say that people gain the TRP 20 or 3o or 40.  I did the opposite, which was so great. I went for a walk almost every break every day.  I did it to help loose weight, help see foods and mostly because it cleared my mind and enabled me to go on with my day of talking to people on the phones.

The thing I forgot to tell the people that asked how I lost the weight was that

I was able to keep the weight off when I Learned to Love myself.

When I Loved myself enough not to poison my body with foods that do not serve me. When I was able to remove carbs from my life. Carbohydrates do not serve my body well at all. I stopped White sugar, white flour and processed foods. It is funny because when I was so overweight, I did not know what foods were protein.  I did not even know what a carb was.  Everyone is different, everyone needs to learn what foods are healthy for their body and what foods are toxic to their body.

I have shared how I learned to Love myself in other blogs.  I really do Love Myself now and care what I put into my body. Things I eat affect me so much more now. Bread for me causes severe bloating.  Chocolate makes my heart race.  Sugar does too. I now listen to my body and do my best to give it what it desires and stop giving it what does not serve it’s higher purpose.

Learn to Love Yourself!

That is what I recommend as the Best way to loose weight and keep it off.

LOVE YOU!

Tammy Joyful

 

 

 

My GRAND Adventure Starts Now

January 26, 2016

10 years ago today we moved to Colorado and started our Adventure here.  I would not change any of my Life Adventure.  Especially this Colorado Adventure.  Oh how I’ve Grown by leaps and bounds.  I am Grateful for all the ups and downs and all that I have learned along the way to bring me to this point in my Life. This point of surrender. This point of power. This point of taking complete responsibility and decisions in Creating my own Beautiful life.

Sunday, God presented this new Adventure to me.  An exciting, yet quite SCARY Adventure. He has actually been preparing me for quite some time to take on this Adventure.  He has prepared me to follow his guidance, to Create my own Life.  He has Gifted me with Healing Hands.  Now I am going to step out and combine the two.  I am stepping out in FAITH to do the work GOD has called me to do.  My Purpose, My Mission.  To assist people in their Healing.  To Clear every room I walk into of All Negativity.  Similar to what I have mentioned in earlier posts except for one thing – I left my job today.  My Wonderful, Secure job at T. Rowe Price.  I Love everyone I worked with and the Company itself. I truly enjoyed my year there.  God clearly stated that all I had completed all I was to accomplish at this time. I pray that all continue their own Healing Journey and I am willing to assist, reach out to me. I went around giving my normal Hugs and saying Hello to Special People, they did not know that it was really GoodBye. I will miss the People SO Very much.  I am grateful that I will be able to keep in contact with many of them!

Stepping out in Surrender and FAITH, complete FAITH that God will provide all I need.  He always has supplied everything I need and so much more. I see it so clearly now. How did I not Believe and See it before? I now surrender and have FAITH that HE will provide for each and every moment of my life to come! I am to help people understand that this is now a time of BELIEVE it and you will SEE it! Instead of the old saying see it and believe it. I am here to CREATE my own Wonderful Life I have always Dreamed about.  If you can Dream it, it can become a REALITY!  Believe it and you WILL see it.

My plan is to tie up some loose ends.  Take a few days to commune with God about my next steps. To CREATE my Future.  Then, in a few weeks Start this Crazy, Awesome, Wonderful Adventure.  It will be interesting to see where God leads, whom he has prepared for me to meet. What I CREATE. I am already Looking into people’s eyes and connecting with so many more than I ever have before.  I am looking for opportunities to GREET people to CONNECT with them, not just complete the steps of my day to day necessities.

When I started this Healing Journey, I wanted to Save Everyone, Heal Everyone.  I have learned that I can LOVE them and that might just have to be enough. Some along the way have felt the Power that surges through my hands into their body.  Some choose to embrace the Healing Energy and allow it to change their Lives Completely in profound ways.  Some choose to ignore it completely. (I have to say that although I do not understand choosing this option, that I completely honor their choice) We ALL have a CHOICE. Some accept the momentary Healing and then do not allow it to change their lives, do not seek out more Healing, and do not keep growing and Healing. It IS a choice we all make.

Healing does not mean everything gets EASY instantly.  Healing can be difficult.  Releasing can be difficult.  Accept God’s provision or turn it down. HE has abundant LIFE ready and available to all who ask.  Ask and you shall Receive, HE tells us. I pray more start ASKING and RECEIVING. Even though it can be a difficult Journey, it is SO VERY worth it.  FREEDOM AWAITS on the other side of the difficulty!

I had some lofty visions and dreams about others joining me on this Journey. Buses of people engaged in the Healing process of all we meet. Together in community Traveling the Country, the World – Healing. Others are not ready yet. Maybe someday, maybe not. I have learned that This is the time for me! I now set off on my own. I can wait no longer. I have a Mission, I will SERVE. Here I am World. I am Ready! Let’s get this Party started. I am adopting my sister’s motto: Pick a date, pack your bags and just go.

I have prayed for and sent Healing Energy to All my family, All my friends, All that I meet, All that I have talked to on the phones. I have intended that my Presence, my Hugs, my Touch and my Words be Healing to All who choose to Receive. All have a choice to Receive the Healing or not whether verbally or on a Soul level. I have given Freely. All have chosen. I am Honored.

I have learned so much just in this past 6 months.  I have completed my process of learning to Love and be Loved again. I Love myself! I Love others! I now understand the meaning of Unconditional Love and experience it each day. I am filled with Unlimited, Unconditional Divine Love. I choose to Pour out this Love. I Choose JOY. I Choose to see the World and Live Life to the Fullest! One Glorious Step at a time.

I have received so many signs that this is the right thing for me RIGHT NOW.

Then… at 3am…, doubts creep in…  You are a Fool…  You can’t do this… Do this alone? Leave your job? Are you Fucking Crazy?

No! ALL negativity is shed from my Life!

I AM Confident! I am Bold! I am Strong! Here I AM World.  Here I AM!

I AM a Phoenix RISING!

I CHOOSE to move forward with Confidence and Courage!

THEN I go back to sleep about 4 or 5 am and wake rested and rejuvenated a few hours later.  Prepared to take my next step! Preparation is KEY.

My verse for this year: Isaiah 40:31 ‘but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like Eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

I AM SO Very BLESSED with Family and Friends!  I have 9 States on my Travel Wish List so far! I will let you know when I get near your location!  Each day I will wake and ask “What is Next?” And Follow whatever Direction I receive/create!

Thank you for reading my blog and Joining me on this Journey! I feel your Love and Prayers and Presence with me! I LOVE you ALL!

Until next time.

All My LOVE to you, Tammy Joyful

Am I a Healer?

January 1, 2015

Hello New Year!  I welcome you with open arms.  I have to say 2015 was a bit tough.  I am ready for a year of Miracles.  A year of Abundance.  A year of Happiness.  A year of Dancing and Singing.  A year of Love, Unconditional Love.

I am so Blessed and people say they want to be me.  After all, I am Tammy Joyful.  I dance and sing and choose to be joyful.  Most of the time…  I have to say, I fall into bouts of self-pity and depression.  Not wanting to live anymore.  Yes, I have contemplated suicide more than once in my life. More than once in the last month.  I don’t want to do all the things I have to do.  I don’t want to face the things I have to face.  At times, I don’t want to go on.  I want to take the “easy” way out as Dan did.  Why couldn’t we work?  Why couldn’t I live that life?  Why don’t I want to live this life now? Why do I want to call it quits…  This after I just wrote a “Love Letter” to myself. How can I shift so drastically, so suddenly?  Do you?  Does this happen to you to?

The roller coaster of Life is getting milder I have to say.  These bouts of depression used to last months, even years.  Now that I have gone through MUCH Healing, they only last days or even hours if I am determined to move on.   And most of the time I am determined.  Determined to Move On.  To be Joyful.  To be Happy. I Am Thankful for my continued Healing. I thought “A Healing” would “fix” me.  I was So excited for my First Healing Session, I was sure God was going to Heal me Completely in that hour.  When it didn’t “fix” me I became depressed again and went into self-pity mode.  “Why didn’t God want to “Fix” me? What have I done wrong?” Since then, I have learned that Life is a Continuous Healing Journey.

I choose to Move On in 2016.  I choose Joy!  I choose to remove all the clutter from my Life.  All the clutter from my Mind.  I choose to LEAVE depression behind me in the PAST.  I choose to LEAVE suicidal thoughts in the past.  I choose once and for all to unwind the mess inside me and Move on to the Mission I have been called to. I choose to remove from my Life all that no longer serves my Highest Good.  All that is holding me back. I determine to choose a Life of Abundance.  The Abundant Life God has promised us all.  I choose to serve God by serving people. Allowing God’s Unlimited Divine Power to surge through me to others.  To assist others in their Healing process, their Healing Journey. To help others along their OWN path.  To assist others in connecting to God, their DIVINE SOURCE.

Yes, I can connect to that Divine Power, Love, Energy.  Oh and when I choose to tap into it, how GLORIOUS.  What a GIFT I have been given.  I can’t even begin to describe how GLORIOUS it is.  In Truth, I am continuously CONNECTED to DIVINE. When I allow the Energy to flow through me to others the connection intensifies. I cannot describe how GOD uses me to clear, align and shift others back to HIM. Back to their connection to UNIVERSAL SOURCE.  I see their distressed eyes before beginning a session. I feel their distressed bodies.  I unwind the mess inside of them and Love seeing their clear, joyful eyes when the session is over.  What they say is Wow, That felt So good.      What did I do? I assisted them in connecting to their HIGHER SOURCE. Every person is different.  Every session is different. One thing remains the same.  I remove the blocks and connect people to their HIGHER SOURCE.  To GOD.  I help REMIND you of who you are. Allow you to re-focus on your Own Path.  To Move On as I am Moving On.  To continue your Own Healing in this Journey of Life.  As I continue with my Own Healing.

Am I a Healer?  You decide. I Love this definition of a Healer by Jeff Foster:  “A True Healer does not heal you; she simply reflects back to you your innate capacity to heal. She is a reflector, or a loving transparency.”

Do I Heal you?  No.     I Align, Clear and Shift you back to DIVINE SOURCE so you REMEMBER how to Heal yourself.

I rejuvenate Healers to REMIND you of who you are, to re-focus your energy, to lift you to a higher frequency to better assist your clients.

This is who I AM.  This is what I DO.

Tammy Joyful

Love Letter to Myself

December 23, 2015

My Courageous act yesterday was to write a Love Letter to Myself.  That started out to be quite hard and turned into such a Blessing to me.

Today my Courageous Act is to Post that Love Letter on my blog.  Oh my…..  Sharing my Life with you is wonderful and not so easy at times…

 

December 22, 2015

My Dearest Tammy,
I Love You So Very Much.  I AM So Proud of you.  You have been through so much this year and have Risen above all the turmoil in a fashion I never thought possible a few years ago.  You have grown in Love and Light and Peace.  I Love the way you Love yourself.  I Love the way you Love others.  I Love how you follow your Divine guidance.  I Love how you have stepped out in Faith to pursue your Life Purpose,  your mission,  your passions.  You have been Courageous!  You Love yourself and care about yourself in a way you never have before.  You care more about what you think than what others think about you. You are speaking your Truth in Love more and more every day.

I Love you, My Dear.  I look into your eyes and see Complete,  Unconditional Love Shining back at me in that mirror image.  I feel your Love radiating out to me.  I Love how you walk in nature and greet all the trees and animals with Love.  I Love how you have started openly assisting people and animals in their Healing process and I Love the results you have seen.

I Love how you have asked for Miracles and are open to receive them.  I Love how a flock of Geese, so high in the sky, flew in a circle for you to see a Miracle and changed directions to fly over you as you took your morning walk.  I Love how bunnies come to your door to accept Healing.  I Love how you talked and listened to the snakes that have come so close to you to teach you lessons of moving on and shedding your old skin – transformation.  You, Tammy,  set aside your fear and embraced the snakes you so feared at one time.

I Love how you have shared your Heart in your blog, making your Life an Open book in hopes of Assisting others in learning to Love themselves.

I am So Proud of you, Tammy Joyful, for doing the best you can to remain Joyful.  No matter what circumstances come your way.  No matter what may try to steal your Peace.

I AM a so Very Proud of you for learning to Love Yourself.  When you started this journey of loving yourself with Louise Hay, she advised you to look in the mirror and say “I Love you, Tammy.”  I remember how Very Hard that was.  Impossible at first, in fact…   I started with, “I am willing to change.”  Then moved on to, “I am willing to try to a love myself.”  And finally after a couple years, You Did It!  You are now able to look into that mirror and say, “I Love You, Tammy. ”  and Really mean it.  I am So Proud of you.

I Love how you now take care of yourself.  You no longer give too much to others at the detriment of yourself.  Which has in turn allowed you to be stronger and give more than you were able to give before.

I Love You.  I Love your Pure Heart.  I Love your Pure Energy.   I Love your Pure Light, Shining for All to see and accept. I Love how you approach everything from a space of Love.

I Love how you Expect Miracles!  You had the thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool if that flock of geese (a second flock) would fly right over my head?” “Wow, look at that, they changed direction and are coming toward me.  Right over my head.  So close I can hear the beautiful sound coming from their flapping wings.  So Very Cool.”    I heard, “Everything is possible now, Tammy, Everything and Anything.  Tell people, What we Believe we Will See.”

Miracles.  I truly Believe in Miracles.  I have seen and experienced Miracles.  I expect to See Miracles.  I Love that you Believe in Miracles, Tammy.

I Love that you can now Love Unconditionally.   Yourself and others.

Even after just writing this, doubts flood over me…  How can this be true?  How can I Love me?  Why do I Love me?  And the kicker…..    Do I really Love me?

The moments I waiver, I take a deep Breath, ask for help and

Choose to Believe.

Choose to Believe I Love myself.

Choose to Believe in Miracles.

Choose to Believe I Love another and another will Love me.

So Many Emotions…

December 11, 2015  I have gone through so many emotions the past week and half.  Anger, sadness, frustration, relief, joy, numbness and more…

I started to let the situation and people around me affect my life.  I had lost my Joy.  I had lost my will to move on.  I was tired, worn out, depressed.

I now make a decision to survive using COURAGE, HUMOR AND GRACE.  I once again choose Joy.

I choose to Live.

I choose to move on.

I choose to use this experience to assist others in their Healing Process.

Dan, you did not choose Life here on this Earth.

I choose Life.  I intend to assist others in choosing Life.

I will assist you in your Healing Process and in choosing Life if you will allow me.  Email me:  TammyJoyful@gmail.com

I Love you ALL.

Tammy Joyful

The Day After…

December 6, 2015

One tree… standing along in this ever brightening Light.

One tree… the one that has weathered the storms and still thrives.

One tree… Welcoming the Morning Light with Grace and Gratitude.

One tree… Still smiling, even when the knowing that more storms will come.

This one tree.  She is me.

fb Wild and Wise Women

The Funeral

December 5, 2015  I didn’t know how we would make it through this day. How would Laura, Brian and I make it through this service.  We are strong. We can do it.  We can do anything.  Especially with Family and Friends supporting us.  Thank you.  Thank you ALL for being there with us and also those sending us Light and Love.

Wayne, Wayne our dear friend and I are going to speak during the service. Will we be able to?  A nod to Steve or Annie and we won’t have to, we can sit and let the service move on.  No, that is not what is meant to be.  We must share.  We must share our Hearts.

The Eagles played in the background.  I did not want silence, except for the Military Honors.  The Military Presented the Colors.  Psalm 23 resounded throughout the room.  Precious Lord, Take My Hand, Elvis Presley played for all to hear.

Then it was our turn….  I started…

I looked out at all the family and friends that came to support us.  I covered my mouth, tears coming to my eyes.

I Love you!  I Love you all! Thank you for coming.

Dan Allen Shetley ~ November 14, 1965 to November 30, 2015

Born November 14, 1965 in California to Bonnie and Dale Shetley.  He died in his home on November 30, 2015.  He was an only child.

He graduated from Pasadena High School in 1983.  He enlisted in the US Air Force in 1984 and served his country honorably for over 25 years. During his years in the Air Force, he deployed to Korea, Kuwait (several times), Romania, and Iraq.  He was honored and privileged to serve with so many wonderful people throughout the years.  He loved you all.  He loved serving with his peers and assisting younger airmen be the best they could be.  He wanted them to know their job well and come back from the deployments alive.  He achieved that goal, he brought back all his airmen from the deployments and was very proud.  Dan served his country well, very well.  He gave his ALL to serve his country and take care of his family.  He specialized as an Air Weapons Controller.  His final Assignment was at Cheyenne Mountain AFB/Peterson AFB.  After retiring from the Air Force, he went to school at WyoTech in Laramie, WY with the intent of restoring his Classic ’65 and ’67 Mustangs.  He enjoyed constructing model cars, restoring his classic cars, working on the house and being with family and friends.

Then I said something like this…..

You have a choice.  Each day, each moment you have a choice.  You have a choice.

To Live or not to Live

To Love or not to Love

To Smile or not to Smile

To get out of Bed or not

To laugh or cry

To Heal or to Suffer

To Light up a Room when you walk into it or hide your Beautiful Presence from those around you.

Me – I determine each day to make this Present Day, This Current Day – NOW – the Best Day of my Life so far.  The Past is in the Past, The Future is in the Future.  NOW is here – Breath it in.  Make a conscious choice to Live in this Moment, Right NOW.  To Look at those around you and Pour out Love.  Shower them with kindness and goodness.

What do you choose?  Right NOW you are making a choice.

I CHOOSE TO LIVE.

Then Wayne so eloquently stated…

The other day Tammy asked if I would like to say something. I hesitated. Not because I didn’t want to say anything but because I wasn’t sure if I could say anything. 8 months ago I went through my own personal tragedy, 8 months ago this Monday. My husband, a guy I had been with for over 19 years ended his own life. I know what Tammy is going through. I know what her next 8 months are going to be like. I’ve been through it all myself. My family came to town and helped me pack the house, sell the furniture, sell the cars, the motor home, our rental condo, put the house on the market and move. I couldn’t have done it without my family and my friends. Dan and Tammy were like my family. I met Dan in the Air Force when I was 18. We were both stationed in Germany together. In a lot of ways it was a dream assignment – distant lands, strange languages, great food and lots of parties. It had it’s moments of boredom, frustration and hard work but the good times are what I remember the most. After our unit closed down I lost touch with Dan for a few years until I was stationed in Southern California in January of 1990. I was assigned to the same crew as Dan and he was excited for me to meet Tammy. She was every bit as amazing as he described, she was funny and pretty and welcomed me into their lives like I was a brother. Over the next 5 years I spent a lot of time hanging out with both of them. My friend Johnny and I spent countless days playing darts and computer games well into the night. Tammy usually had to work the following morning but she never complained. I spent countless evenings at their house for dinner. Tammy probably cooked way more food for me than I ever made on my own. We went camping and fishing and skiing together. I helped paint their house and move furniture. Dan got me involved in a few car restorations at his house and I loved hanging out with him doing guy things. I never had anyone in my life that I could do guy things with. When I moved out of the dorm on base and into my own apartment Dan and Tammy loaned me things to help get me started. They were my family. We may have been separated by distance in the years since but they’ve always remained close to my heart. When I told my friends about Dan’s passing, some of their first words were about it being a senseless waste of life. I don’t agree. I agree that it was a premature ending, but an entire life can’t be summed up in a few moments of despair. He has two lovely children, he had a wonderful career that I am envious of, he had his hobbies that he loved, he had so much to be proud of. He had all of you in his life. I could never have accomplished the things he did. I’m proud of the things he did and I’m proud of how far he made it. I will remember the good times.

Thank you, Wayne.  Thank you.

We were honored to have Steve Wamberg give the Sermon.  He did a brilliant job.  Suicide is NOT the unforgivable sin.  God Loves and Accepts Dan just as he is.  All of us, just as we are.

God Loves us ALL more than we can even fathom.  Nothing we can do can make him Love us any More.  Nothing we can do can make him Love us any Less.  He Loves us UNCONDITIONALLY.  Totally.  Completely.  BELIEVE IT.

Psalm 139:1-18

Music: Hello, Adele — How are we ever going to make it through this song without sobbing…..  Then I feel a hand on my right shoulder.  It is our Beautiful Daughter, Laura.  She says “Let’s Dance, Mom.”  Oh, Yes, Let’s Dance.  How Glorious to Dance in the Presence of the LORD.  And to dance with Dan.  We danced at our Wedding and we danced at his funeral. Brian came up to dance with us and we invited all to Dance.

We Danced as a Celebration of Life.  

(Some didn’t understand or agree.  That is OK.  We followed our Hearts.)

*Presentation of flag to family — Oh my.  This was so much harder than I ever thought.  The Military and it’s ceremonies were part of our lives for 25 years and the airmen did a wonderful job.  Dan was proud.  

That snapping, OH that snapping.  Every time they snapped that flag to fold it I cried out.  Unfettered anguish.  I felt the pain to the depths of my Being.  Not holding anything back.  I felt and released all that pain and sorrow.  Holding tightly to my dear children.  One on each side of me.  Brian holding my head as I sobbed.  Oh my…  Oh my….  I still feel the pain as I type this.  Tears stream down my cheeks.  And it wasn’t over.  The pain wasn’t over.  The gun shots.  The Three-volley salute.  Oh, those gun shots.  I could not stand those gun shots.  Brian covered my ears… Laura held on tightly to my hands.  We held tightly to each other.  Oh, no more, no more gun shots…  Please…  Please…   Then, then they handed us that flag.  Like I had seen done many times before.  His flag.  Dan’s flag.  She tried to hand me three cartridges from the salute.  I could not take them.  Brian held out his hand to take them.  My son, doing once again what I could not do.  Thank you.

Scripture readings as benediction: I John 3:19-20; Isaiah 61:1-7

Proud to be an American started.  This is the song we listened to when Dan returned from his deployment to Iraq.  When we drove through the street by our home, flags lining both sides of the street.  The Boy Scouts put them up to honor Dan’s return from the war.  He was so touched and honored.  How were we going to make it through this song.  We were just going to listen. No, that just wasn’t right.  I started singing.  We all sang.  Loudly and Proudly.  How Glorious to sing together. 

Dismissal: Free Bird, Lynyrd Skynyrd

It was over.  We greeted all our guests with a Smile and a Hug.  We are so honored for you all to join us.

It was a Celebration of Life.  It turned out so much better than I ever dreamed it could.

We Honored.  We Remembered.  We Danced.  We Cried.  We Sang.  

 

The Most Important Sun Rise in My Life

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Today.  Today.  Is the first day of the rest of my life.  Today I arose from bed just before Sunrise – perfect timing – as I have witnessed earlier this year.  Perfect timing – although fear creeped in to my mind.  Those nasty doubts.  What if I miss it.  What if I miss the Most Important Sun Rise of My Life so far?  I must hurry.  I hurried to put my clothes on.  Still Afraid I might miss it.  I knew deep down that I would not.  I definitely would not miss this important event.  Even so, I hurried.  I rushed as I have most of my life.  I ran out of my apartment at my Brother’s house.  I hurried to the spot where I could see the horizon.  The East Horizon.  The Sun was still preparing, preparing to RISE.  I had plenty of time.  I slowed.  I went through my Morning rituals as I waited for the Sun to Rise.  Preparing.  That is what we all are doing.  Preparing.  Many will understand these words.  Many will not.  Those who have ears.  HEAR.  KNOW.  TRUST.  Continue to Prepare in your own way.  It is coming.  I AM Here.

I completed my Morning rituals.  I definitely recommend you determine rituals to start your day, everyday.  “There is no need to hurry anymore.”  I heard.  “No need to hurry.”  My timing is Perfect.  I have Always taken care of you.  I will Always take care of you in ALL WAYS.  “Thank you.” I muttered.  “Thank you.”  I started to feel stronger.  With each step.  Stronger and Stronger.  As I prepared to watch the Most Important Sun Rise of my Life.  She was preparing to Rise.  I was Preparing to Experience Her Brilliance.

That is what Life is about now.  Preparing and Experiencing.

Prepare to Love.

Experience Love.

Help others Prepare to Love. Experience Love.  LOVE.  Unconditional Love.

I watched that Sun Rise.  I felt my heart being restored.  My Broken Heart.  My Soul restored.

RISE & AWAKEN all who are ready.

Listen to these words.

Feel them to the depth of your Being.

You are ready.  You have Prepared and you are Ready.  Listen and you will know what steps to take.  You who are Ready, help those who aren’t ready to Prepare.

Love.  Love Unconditionally.

Prepare to Love.

Experience Love.

I watched the Sun Rise.  I once again determined that “this will be the Best day of my life so far.”  Harsh some will say.  To soon some will say.

God’s timing is Perfect.

I will still have moments, hours, a day of sadness.  We all do.  We all choose how to face these challenges.  We all choose how to LIVE our lives.  We ALL have a Choice.  I CHOOSE to LIVE.  I choose to Live Life to the FULL.  I have mourned the past.  I have released my regrets.  I Hope you are able to also.  Release All that no longer serves you.  Release All that is not yours.  I carried the Burden of someone else for far to long.  Stop trying to carry someone else’s Burden.  It only destroys that which is alive.  CHOOSE LIFE.  CHOOSE to ARISE & AWAKEN.

 www.filmsforaction.org/watch/today-I-rise/

The Sun Rising Restored my Soul.  A friend told me “The Sun will Rise Again.”  “It will set and it will Rise Again.”  This came from someone who knows.  Someone who has been through much worse than I and made it through.  He is Living Proof that Life can go on.  I have clung to those words each day.  “The Sun will Rise again.”

Today.  Today.  I witnessed the Most Important Sun Rise of My Life.  Today is the first day of the Rest of My Life.  Today I danced in the Brilliance of the Sun.  The Morning Sun.  A modified, subdued Dance.  I Danced.  That is what is important to me.  I Danced.  I felt alive again.  Able to Breath again.  Able to move forward again.  Someone told me I am too Bright to be dimmed.  Others have Blessed me by saying I have inspired them these last months and also years.  I am so grateful God is using me to touch people’s lives.  I am here to Assist others in their Healing Process.  I will Continue.  I will Move on.  I will Remember.  I will not allow this tragedy to Dim me.  I AM A SHINING LIGHT.  I determine to Light up Every Room I walk into.  I determine to LOVE Everyone I meet.  Everyone I see.  I shine Brightly for Everyone to see.

HERE I AM WORLD.  HERE I AM.

Watch me Shine.

Determine to Shine with me.

You can.

Make a Choice.  Let Life happen to you or grab Life by the reins and determine to Shine.  No matter what happens TO you or Around you.

Shine Baby Shine.  Brighter than you’ve ever shone before.

You can.  If you want.

IT IS YOUR CHOICE.

Today.  Today.  I witnessed the Most Important Sun Rising of My Life so far.

I choose to Embrace this day and Every Day.  I CHOOSE TO LIVE.