8.15.19
Most people did not understand the intense Love that Jeff and I shared. I admit that we ourselves could not comprehend it most of the time. What I can say is that from the moment we met, our hearts and lives were drawn closer and closer together moment by moment, day by day, month by month, year by year. Magnetically drawn closer and closer together.
We were so similar in many ways and exact opposite in so many more ways. We met at work. And I remember someone saying in the breakroom, “You two are exactly opposite of each other.” During the time we knew each other on this earth plane, we talked or texted almost every day. Many times, for several hours. We started out as co-workers talking at work and eventually turned into Best Friends over time.
I was inexplicably drawn to this man. This amazing man that everyone either Loved or Loved to hate. Jeff was so very Passionate in everything he said and did. He gave everything 110%. He Always said what was on his mind NO MATTER what the consequences. This completely astonished me. He lived life to the fullest. His passion drove him to be the best he could be at everything. He Loved what he Loved and hated what he hated, and everyone knew what those things were! And he always dressed and looked SO sharp, didn’t he??!! And smelled amazing always. He shared REAL life with everyone he met. When you met Jeff Davis. You REMEMBERED Jeff Davis! When Jeff Davis met you, Jeff Davis REMEMBERED YOU! He remembered EVERYTHING and Everyone! He remembered the name and story of everyone he ever exchanged life with Always genuine and with No judgement. His Brilliant mind and memory were one of his greatest gifts and one of his greatest downfalls. Because you see, he killed a man in 2002. He never forgot every detail of what he recalled, and he never forgave himself. That memory tortured him Every day for the rest of his life. He did not intentionally kill this man, Mr. Sanchez, but to Jeffrey his actions were unforgivable. He knew Jesus forgave him; he still could not forgive himself. I wonder how different his life would have been were it not for that tragic evening of drinking and driving. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison for this tragedy and MARKED a felon for life. This MARK followed him and tormented him at every turn. The judgement he felt was immense and quite unbearable. Especially when looking for a job or promotion. That one night changed the trajectory of his whole life.
That Brilliant mind and memory of his also recorded every moment of his four and half years in prison (plus probation) Horrific events replayed over and over in his mind, mostly in the form of nightmares. The nightmares subsided a few years ago, the memories did not ever leave his mind.
The Love we shared was a Special Gift to both of us. Our Love healed us both in our own Unique ways. Our Love was a Beautiful Gift and also a great challenge for us both. Let Love be your compass through life. In truth, Love is All there is. Let that sink in and think about, meditate about that statement.
“Love is All there is”
Do you Believe that? How do you feel about that? Look within and Journal about that.
Our Love was deep. Our Love was magnetic. Our Love was “Perfectly Imperfect” just as we are. He called us Perfectly Imperfect a couple years ago and I love that description, so fitting. I wish everyone to experience the unconditional Love we developed over time for each other.
I was asked recently what I wanted to get out of our relationship. I had never contemplated that thought. I just followed my heart and God’s Guidance. I replied, “That is a good question. I cannot in anyway adequately explain this Love to you, so I am not even going to try.” It was my Honor to be a Special part of Jeff’s Life. Loving him as I said was a Beautiful Gift and a Great challenge as many well know. Our Journey together was not an easy one AND it was well worth it. Many ups and downs. A rollercoaster ride. It took quite a while for both of us to open our Broken Hearts to each other’s Love. Our Hearts were mended piece by piece over time. We had many challenges to overcome. Some we did. Some we were not able to or he would still be with us today.
Alcohol Addiction destroys lives.
Alcohol Addiction destroyed Jeff’s life.
While drinking, Dark thoughts clouded his mind and twisted his thoughts. What he would hear (or read in texts, etc.) was different that what was actually said. His altered mind added Negativity and Darkness to each comment he heard or read. Reasoning with him was just not possible.
His passion pared with the alcohol was a deadly combination. Many felt the wrath of the alcoholic. Many heard the pain of the alcoholic. I don’t think many really understood the depths of the pain and suffering he carried with him. Unfortunately, although he tried his best, he was not able to let this burden go. His Brilliant mind and memories were not able to release the demons that inhabited that steel vault. If he could have unlocked that vault and released those memories that haunted him daily, he may have had a good chance at Recovery. Unfortunately, that was not to be for him in this life. No matter how hard many of us tried and prayed for it to be so.
Today, I remembered a call Jeff got a few months ago, I heard every Beautiful word with the phone on speaker. A man called to thank Jeff for a conversation they had a few years ago. The conversation that man had with Jeff Davis changed the course of his life. That man stopped drinking, has a Loving marriage and Beautiful children. Because of a conversation with Jeff Davis! He called Jeff to thank him. Jeff had talked to him with No judgement whatsoever (as he did) encouraged him and left it at that. Today, I wished that alcoholic Jeff could have had a similar resulting conversation with Jeff Davis.
Jeff So LOVED to Encourage, assist, teach and help others. And others Loved to get his help. He was so fricken smart and good at what he did! He helped countless clients on the phone, countless people pass their financial licensing exams. The 7, 66 and CRPC were his specialty. I witnessed him and his Brilliant mind recall examples, give encouragement and advise over the phone many times. And he assisted countless more at work. This happened again just these past couple weeks. He came to life doing this. He Absolutely Adored getting the call for help and the call after the test saying, “I Passed!” and I couldn’t have done it without your encouragement and assistance! Or You helped me So much. Thank you.
I remember the first time I saw the notes he took studying for these exams; I was astonished at the detail and even color coding. He studied hard, not just to pass the test, he wanted to remember everything he learned. He worked Long and Hard taking those notes and shared them freely with many. I am sure they will be shared for many years to come.
He was Truly a Genuine, Intelligent, Brilliant, Amazing, Loving and Kind man with a Heart of Gold and a Passionate Streak like NO Other!
You will be missed by many Jeffrey Thomas Davis.
I Love You. Thank you for Loving me. I am So proud of you My Love.
“Well Done my good and faithful servant”
I implore everyone of you that reads this to remember everything you Loved about Jeff/Jeffrey. To be Honored to know him. To release any regret, you may have. He above all knew that we are all “Perfectly Imperfect” as he said.
He Loved every single one of you reading this! Even those he had been upset with recently. I cannot emphasize that enough “He LOVED every single one of you reading this!” He Loved with his Whole Beingness. From the depths of his Soul. Feel the Truth in this. Release any and ALL regret and pain. He reached out to many this past Saturday night, release all regret regarding this.
Remember his PASSION, his Laughter, his Jokes – ALL his Jokes 😉 and his Stories, EVERYTHING good or not so good. REMEMBER and feel his Love surround you.
He had trouble Loving his perceived “bad” side. Love ALL of HIM. Remember ALL aspects of Him. And in doing so Love and integrate ALL of you. Love yourself. Even the parts you feel are unworthy. They are the parts that need the Love the most.
Honor Jeff/Jeffrey’s life by Honoring and Loving your WHOLE self. Something he was not capable of doing this life. [Rest assured He is NOW]
He is FREE
He is Filled with PEACE
KNOW this to be TRUE.
Look for signs that he is around you. Know that he will touch each of your lives in a UNIQUE way. When he comes to mind KNOW it IS him. He will give you signs that only you will understand. Acknowledge his Spirit’s presence. Talk to him. Tell him how mad you are at him. Tell him how you Really feel. Feel it deeply and let the emotions flow.
Forgive him. He forgives and Loves all of you.
LOVE him. Love yourself. Love your family and friends AND perceived Enemies. Love as Jesus does.
For those of you who know my story. Release any sadness you feel for me “loosing him.” I am SO BLESSED and Honored to spend the time I did with Jeff. I would not give up a moment of our time together The Love. The Fun. The Passion. The tears. The anger. The frustration. ALL of it. Every single minute.
He came into my life so very unexpectedly. I had absolutely No intention of ever letting a man into my life ever again. Then he walked into the training room and my Whole World started to change. A spark ignited in my heart. He would not know any of this for almost a year. He woke me up when I didn’t even realize I was sleeping. He pushed every single one of my buttons and made me face my fears. Made me face all the Darkness within me that was buried. He helped me Love ME. Bring me into wholeness within Myself. Into Balance. I am Balanced now. We are Balanced Now. He forced me to face my co-dependency and eventually release it. He forced me to stand up for myself. A couple of years ago that was his goal for the year for me: to stand up for myself and see my own worth. Yes, he knew it would take a year or longer. I see my own worth now. I feel it now. I own who I am. I Love who I am. I stand firm in My Beliefs.
Thank you, Jeffrey Thomas Davis, for helping me find ME. We are ONE now my Love. I feel you and hear you and see you in my head, in the words I speak, in the words other speak. When I see PASSION in others, I feel your PASSION. In everything around me. Tears have been flowing constantly since you left this earth plane and as I write this. I Miss you So Deeply.
I will always cherish your last words to me “I want to be with you more than anything.”
On my way home, I saw an elderly woman on the other side of the road standing outside of her car looking around bewildered. I turned around at the next intersection to go back and see if I could assist her. The fog was so dense I could hardly see where her car was off the side of the road. It was even worse than the picture that was taken later on my way home.
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