I AM Grateful

 

I am Grateful I am safe.  I am Grateful my Angels protected me!

It isn’t the things we go through that define us.  It is how we react to those things.  I have heard that many times.  I have been through some things that I would rather not have gone through.  One of those things happened today.  I have to say, it shook me up pretty good.  Me – the Warrior, the unshakable, the smiling, positive one.  I was dazed, confused, mad, sad, fearful.  Numb is the word I would use for how I feel right now.

Everything was going So well.  Even if it wasn’t going well.  I was able to dance and sing and smile and be positive, so positive.  Right now, I am numb.  I am safe.  I am not hurt.  I am Grateful, so very Grateful.

There was a “blizzard”here in Colorado.  A blizzard, ya right, I have been through much worse in North Dakota, my ego said.  I can drive to work.  I have to go to work you know, it is expected of me.  I will be fine.  My Guidance, my Angels, told me to stay home and write and enjoy the time off.  I didn’t listen.  I went to work.  Driving through a large drift outside the garage.  I still decided to go.  I was told the 24 was closed.  That is the road I take part way to work.  I took an alternate route.  The roads were not that bad, I thought.  It was very windy.  Very, Windy.  When I passed Golden Sage Rd.  Complete whiteout, I could see nothing.  Absolutely nothing, just whiteness.  Then a break in the whiteness to see a white pickup stopped or nearly stopped in the left lane right in front of me and a large blue 4 door pickup angled off the road to the right, stuck and against the guard rail.  Nowhere for me to go.  Roads so icy, stopping was not even a slight possibility. — I would have been fine if that Damn white pickup would not have been in the way —  I hit the blue pickup and came to rest on the guard rail.  My driver window shattered, glass all over me and the car.  The left side mirror on the floor at my feet.  It felt like I was not even in the car when it hit.  I remember, but I don’t.  I opened my eyes.  I thought it would be cold with the window open, it was not.  I thought the air bags would have deployed, they did not.  I thought I would have hit my head on the steering wheel, I did not.  I thought the areas on my body where my seat belt held me would be sore/bruised, they were not.  I did have 2 small bloody cuts on my left hand from the broken window.  I am Grateful.  So Grateful.

My Angels held me close to them in their arms.  That is what I am sure of.  They protected me from any harm to me.  Just as I have asked them to do.  They were with me comforting me, assuring me I was OK.  I was dazed, confused, stunned, in shock.

All sorts of things flew through my head.  Why was the white pickup stopped in the middle of the road.  That made me mad.  So mad.  If you are going to stop, pull over first.  I was mad that I decided to venture out.  I was mad work had decided to make us come in under such bad conditions.  Offices/sites in other states were told to stay home so many times in the past year.  I was mad, they didn’t consider us as important as other sites.  Others from work were mad too.  I pray they can release it.  Anger causes pain.  I am NOT willing to live in pain anymore.  I release the Anger.  I release the Anger.  I release the Anger.  I visualize putting all my Anger in a fast moving river in front of me.  Gone, it is gone, whisked away down the river.  I will remain positive.  I am Grateful.

I was sad.  Sad at the thought of loosing my MDX, my SUV.  I Love my car.  I’ve had it since 2005.  I am quite sure the repairs are going to cost more than it is worth, that the insurance company will total it.  I will find out tomorrow.  I will find a “new to me” SUV.  I will remain positive!  I am Grateful for Insurance.  So Grateful.

I was confused.  I could not think of what to do first.  Call a tow truck, call the insurance company.  How was I going to get anywhere?  Why me?  I tried to rock out of the snow drift.  Not happening.  I was stuck.  In my car.  With the driver’s window shattered.  I felt like my life was shattered.  For a MOMENT.  Then a knock on my passenger side window.  It was Geo, a tow truck driver.  He was there to tow the blue pickup.  He said the conditions were to dangerous to load the pickup now.  He offered me a ride to the 7-Eleven a few miles away.  Thank you, Divine!  Thank you, Angels!  For him to be there at that moment, not a coincidence.  He dropped me off by the road to the 7-Eleven.  The entrance was blocked by snow.  Snow.  Snow.  So much snow.  Noone could drive in or out of the gas station.   I walk to the building.  I am Grateful.  So Grateful to be inside.  I will remain positive.

Now what?  I was dazed.  I could not think.  Brenda sent me “Light.”  My Angels cleared my head.  I could think again.  I called the insurance company.  She was wonderful and had a very calming voice.  (I have been told I have a calming voice when I assist people on the phone.  What I give out came back to me.  I am Grateful)  I don’t remember her name, I wish I remembered her name.  She took care of everything in 45 minutes.  She took the claim information, ordered a tow truck and a rental car.  I am Grateful.  I will remain positive.  The rental car associate arrive as soon as he could, about 45 minutes later.  Only an hour and a half at the gas station.  I have a rental car.  I am Grateful.  I am So Grateful to be on my way home.  I see at least 10 or more cars stuck on the side of the road.

I make it back home.  I took a hot bath in a jetted tub.  Thank you, Gloria.  I am Grateful.  I am relaxed.

I realize I have to take the keys back to my car, so they can tow it.  I ask my Angels to be home before darkness sets in.  Off into the winter I go again.  In a small car that is not snow worthy…  I am nervous/fearful, quite nervous to drive this little car in this awful weather.  Angels are surrounding me, of that I am sure.  Four hours later, still whiteout, blizzard conditions in the area of my accident.  I get some things out of the car and leave the keys in it.  I walk through drifts of snow.  My son has generously said I could use his Jeep.  He just happens to have the day off.  No coincidence, of that I am sure.  God’s Divine provision for me.  AND I get home before darkness falls.  I am Grateful.  So Grateful.

Now here I sit writing this to you.  I am still a bit Numb…  I have released my Anger.  I have released my Sadness.  I have released my Confusion.  I have released my Fear.  I determine that I will walk into work tomorrow head held high, smile on my face and I will remain Positive.  I refuse to live in darkness and pain any more.  I am convinced that every day will be the best day of my life so far no matter what.

I am Grateful.  I am so Grateful.  I remain Positive.